Beyond Raising the Bar: Excerpts from a Life in Bodybuilding (2013)
By David Pulcinella
290 pp. (Memoirs)
(Available at Amazon.com)
Dear Mr. Pulcinella -
Like so many others, I've been following you since you starred in your brother's three Raising the Bar documentaries, about your efforts to graduate from being a top NPC athlete to being an IFBB professional. And let's be honest: your brother is definitely a talented filmmaker, but what really made those films work was your honesty and charisma. I felt like I could listen to your stories for hours.
And now that you've written and published Beyond Raising the Bar, I can. But as much as I enjoyed your book, should you ever choose to write another, please allow me to offer some unsolicited advice:
Please, please hire an editor.
By David Pulcinella
290 pp. (Memoirs)
(Available at Amazon.com)
Dear Mr. Pulcinella -
Like so many others, I've been following you since you starred in your brother's three Raising the Bar documentaries, about your efforts to graduate from being a top NPC athlete to being an IFBB professional. And let's be honest: your brother is definitely a talented filmmaker, but what really made those films work was your honesty and charisma. I felt like I could listen to your stories for hours.
And now that you've written and published Beyond Raising the Bar, I can. But as much as I enjoyed your book, should you ever choose to write another, please allow me to offer some unsolicited advice:
Please, please hire an editor.
I'm not suggesting you hire a ghostwriter: you've more than got the basic writing part down pat. You're a natural raconteur, and you wonderfully convey what it's like to go from holding your own bodybuilding "competition" as a teen at your cousin's house all the way to owning your own training business while on the verge of going pro. And while most of your stories are content to be funny, informative and occasionally shocking, there's a nice sprinkling of quieter insights as well.
But as good as this book is, it desperately needs an editor to make it great. I'm not just talking about a proofreader to address typos and strange formatting issues, although those are a problem (at least in the electronic edition that I read). Rather, I'm talking about a content editor who can help guide your substantial writing skills towards a more cohesive whole. You explain that this book is made up of "snapshots in time" as opposed to a start-to-finish narrative. Fair enough, but even a collection of essays can have theme and flow. Beyond Raising the Bar feels like a random collection of thoughts. You generally move forward in time, but often repeat yourself or take side trips along tangents. You go from being a hard-partying gym rat holding all-night orgies in hot tubs to leading so monastic a life that you don't go out at all, without really explaining the transition. You tell lots of really great stories, but they don't quite gel as a unified work.
Please understand: even as is, Beyond Raising the Bar succeeds as a collection of entertaining anecdotes. But I wanted more. You write about how attention to detail is what separates a good bodybuilder from a great one. The same applies to writing. I'm convinced that, with a bit more focus, you could write that great "life of a modern bodybuilder" book that I, at least, have been waiting for.
Best regards,
Seth
AHoleInTheFloor.com
But as good as this book is, it desperately needs an editor to make it great. I'm not just talking about a proofreader to address typos and strange formatting issues, although those are a problem (at least in the electronic edition that I read). Rather, I'm talking about a content editor who can help guide your substantial writing skills towards a more cohesive whole. You explain that this book is made up of "snapshots in time" as opposed to a start-to-finish narrative. Fair enough, but even a collection of essays can have theme and flow. Beyond Raising the Bar feels like a random collection of thoughts. You generally move forward in time, but often repeat yourself or take side trips along tangents. You go from being a hard-partying gym rat holding all-night orgies in hot tubs to leading so monastic a life that you don't go out at all, without really explaining the transition. You tell lots of really great stories, but they don't quite gel as a unified work.
Please understand: even as is, Beyond Raising the Bar succeeds as a collection of entertaining anecdotes. But I wanted more. You write about how attention to detail is what separates a good bodybuilder from a great one. The same applies to writing. I'm convinced that, with a bit more focus, you could write that great "life of a modern bodybuilder" book that I, at least, have been waiting for.
Best regards,
Seth
AHoleInTheFloor.com
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